21 and invincible

I actually uttered those ridiculous words to someone the other night.

But sometimes you feel like it don't ya? 

It's also a really good song by one of my favorite bands Something Corporate http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqIQM2aWxyI 

Enough of that haha. The past few days have been a whirlwind of change. Found out a few days ago that I got into the school I wanted to, started classes today. I am super excited for it but I also have NO IDEA what's going on. To add on to that, the power was out and the school was closed this morning and then the scheduling server had crashed. I've been put in a mish mash of classes for now, but hopefully everything will be sorted soon! 

This weekend wrapped up one of my most fun show experiences to date. After being behind the scenes all summer for productions it was nice to actually be on stage again. Burlesque shows are just so much fun too! Seriously great people. I think though, that one of the best things to come out of that whole experience is that I finally found a bible study to go to. Now, I've been shying away from the whole church thing for a bit, and I'm no where near ready to go back to one right now, but I've been thinking I do need to get together with a group of likeminded people. I just didn't know anyone in this town who was involved in one. First night tonight and I'm actually pretty excited (which is something I haven't been able to say about church related things for quite some time now).

Today I'm thankful for new friends, lazy Sunday afternoons (that turn into evenings) and sensible people. Wonderfully enough all of those things seemed to be present in my life this past weekend :)

Know what I'm not excited for this week? Packing and cleaning to move. Whoop. Apparently I need to get off my lazy bum!

Also, still haven't finished that freaking depressing book. I've learned that if I take it in smaller chunks it doesn't affect me nearly as bad though, so that's good (but it's still just awful).

-K

summer winding down

Howdy friends!

Been going through a bit of a slump in the past few days. Still loving my life and excited to start school and etc. but it's like I'm half going through life in a stupor. Maybe I'm just exhausted and I need a bit of a break before my life gets hectic again.

And then there's the loneliness, but I guess that just happens sometimes, right? I have to keep reminding myself that. I'm also very thankful that I'm very not alone in this world. I have wonderful friends :)

Then again it may be this book I'm reading. One Day by David Nicholls. It's supposed to be a romance and I've heard all sorts of good things about the movie that just came out based on it. Oh my goodness is it ever depressing! If it doesn't have a happy ending I may end up an alcoholic like both of the characters! Interesting how what you put into your mind affects it, huh? Food for thought there.

I guess the past few days I've just been thinking a lot. Trying to weigh happiness vs. hurt. I've come to the conclusion that hurt is DEFINITELY worth happiness. It's not even that. It's the risk of putting yourself out there that's worth it. Sometimes you'll get rejected, yes. But, the more you risk it, the more chance you have at happiness. I went out to lunch with my good friend J the other day and we were talking about this very subject. For her, like me, this phenomenon is something she's only recently discovered. She shared with me some very wise words a friend shared with her earlier this year:

"GET HURT"

Two words. They can change your life if you let them.

The other conclusion I've come to about hurt this week is that it happens. IT HAPPENS. It's part of life. Because of this I'm currently having a hard time understanding why people let hurt make them bitter. If you don't let it make you bitter, you'll probably end up turning out better than before anyway.

Eww, that sounds cheesy. But I'm beginning to see it's wonderfully true :)

Anyway, really wonderful summer coming to a close, big year ahead (I'm sure). A week and a half before classes go into session again and people are in the moving spirit! Welcoming back old friends with open arms and saying goodbye (at least for now) to new ones. Which reminds me, I've got to get packing. Need some boxes first though!

Gonna share a little gem tonight that I've forgotten about in the past few months, www.8tracks.com

Go. Listen to whatever makes you happy. Enjoy!

-K

#mylifeisgoingtogetcomplicated

Ah yes, the winds of change certainly do continue to sweep through my life.

A few short weeks ago I wasn't sure I would continue to call this place home and as close as yesterday I still wasn't exactly sure what I was doing this year. Turns out I'm going to be going back to university. Picked my courses this morning and now everything is concrete. This leaves me with one question.

Why?

Last year I discovered university wasn't for me. So why am I going back? Well a plethora of reasons really.
1) I can't afford to take a year off and then go back,
2) program I wanted to get into in another province was full,
3) program at craft college was full.
And those three things are what have led to this happenstance.

Is this a waste of time and money? Not really.

As much as I feel like I just want to be done with school and get started with life, I'm comfortable waiting this year. I think it's because I finally have direction as to what I want to do. Taking this year, doing 4 courses a semester (keeping it light), is a good idea. I'm glad I didn't have to move back home because there are a lot of good opportunities for experience in my future field here. Experience is something that I do need more of in theatre production. So I don't think of it so much as waiting as investing in my future.

Hmmmm, maybe that'll convince my parents.

Oh yes, today I am thankful for late night walks and flirting. Just for the simple reason that it's a fun way to get to know someone and it's refreshing (especially in a warm wind). Also, could lead to more hashtags similar to the one in the title. Will I be thankful for that? Who knows.

Finally, got Twitter today. Why? Just for kicks.

-K

In memory of Dan Murphy

Life is short.

Today, I'm grateful for life. Every last second of it that I get I'm going to be grateful for.

Okay, so I know I said in the last post is that one of the things I've discovered is that I have time. But what if I don't? Maybe what I meant to say was that the mistakes, the change, all of it... all of it is part of the precious time we have. That the mistakes, the bad stuff... it isn't a waste of time, it's just an essential part of life.

For the past two years I`ve lived in residence. One of the guys who lived there last year passed away today. Now I`m not going to say we were great friends or anything, but I cared a lot about every single person living in that house, and this boy was basically adopted to the floor I lived on. It`s like a family, living in residence. And getting this news today... it just broke my heart for everybody who ever knew that priceless kid.

So here`s to Dan, your memory will forever rest at the heart of Neill.

-K

here we go again

This honestly has to be about the 4th blog I've ever started. My problem seems to be that I forget passwords and such and am never able to get back into the darned things. Fortunately, this one is attached to my Google account or something... so hopefully that helps.

Here we go!

Last night I was exhausted from burlesque rehearsing all day. So, after a long relaxing shower I took up residence on my couch to watch movies. My second choice of the night (The Princess Bride) provided me with some excellent words to live by:

"We'll never survive!"
"Nonsense. You only say that because no one ever has."

Now some people might think these are rather dangerous words to live by, but I think they're inspiring. They remind one to sometimes take chances, risks and leaps of faith. Just because no one has ever done it doesn't make it impossible. I think that's one of the most important things to remember when creating anything (and living in general).

This summer I've very much discovered I would rather not live inside the lines. Life is big and loud and noisy and messy, but inside all that there is beauty and joy and freedom and colour. I would rather live all of those to the fullest than only get halfway there and say "that's enough, thanks". I think this is because I've realized lately that I have time. I have time to make mistakes, to figure myself out, to change my mind. It's rather freeing, really.

I'm going to continue with something from the old blog. That is, always listing something I am grateful for. Today I am grateful for still having the Three Amigos. It was a truly testing summer of us all working together all the time, but we made it through the other end without killing each other and I'm proud to call both of them my good friends. They are both talented and upstanding young gentlemen in their own ways. In fact, I'm going to lunch with them in a few minutes!

I made a promise to myself at the beginning of this summer that I would be happy. As the season comes to a close it's looking like I really have made good on the promise.

Happy isn't somewhere you get to, it's something you make out of what you have.

-K